tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15145823696931910992012-02-16T10:00:05.346-08:00HOME MADE JOKES RULE! THIS BLOG IS THE FOLLOWUP TO HOME MADE TATTOOS RULE, THE FAMOUS BOOK OUT ON SERPS PRESSMagic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.comBlogger71100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-46942744294188837622007-11-11T02:48:00.000-08:002007-11-11T02:54:32.695-08:00PEOPLE’S NAMES<br /><br />What guy has to deal with crap on a regular basis? Colin<br /><br />What guy just took a pill? Ian<br /><br />What guy is always rehearsing but never plays a show? Benjamin<br /><br />Which guy’s butt is best for playing percussion? Thomas<br /><br />Which guy always wants to do it on the first date? Randy<br /><br />Which girl never wants to drink tea? Tina<br /><br />What guy is a little crazy? Lupe<br /><br />Which girl denies the existence of a muslim god? Alana<br /><br />Which guy is always cleanly shaven? Shaun<br /><br />Which guy never tries too hard to win? Gavin<br /><br />What woman is made of metal? Nicole<br /><br />What guy should you not eat old meat from? Graham<br /><br />What guy really knows who he is? William<br /><br />Which guy steals girls? Nicholas<br /><br />What guy is constantly telling stories? Yahn<br /><br />What guy is neither hot nor cold? Luke<br /><br />What guy loves housework? Dustin<br /><br />Which chick is really generous? Sharon<br /><br />What chick won’t sell you a house? Lisa<br /><br />What chick is good at keeping secrets? Chantel<br /><br />What chick has to have a lie down when she’s pilling? Elaine<br /><br />What girl lets you see into the toilet? Lucy<br /><br />What guy is half a joke? Joe<br /><br />What guy can’t find Lee? Wesley<br /><br />What chick is owed money by Rennai? Naomi<br /><br />What chick hangs out in caves? Crystal<br /><br />What chick makes you choose between her and the night? Naomi<br /><br />What guy wasn’t as into it as the others? Douglas<br /><br />What guy got sore after a burglary? Robert<br /><br />What girl emails you rude photos of herself? Tiffany<br /><br />What girl has got a mouth full of a Rasta god? Georgia<br /><br />What girl’s not worth much? Penny<br /><br />What chick only believes in heaven? Noel<br /><br />What chick only stands up straight? Noelene<br /><br />What guy is a child of a prostitute’s customer? Johnson<br /><br />What guy doesn’t sit? Stan<br /><br />What chick blows you away? Wendy<br /><br />What guy cuts himself shaving? Nick<br /><br />What guy is covered in cigarette butts? Ashton<br /><br />What girl only drinks pints? Abigail<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-4694274429418883762?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-30498008198461314672007-11-11T01:54:00.000-08:002007-11-11T02:17:31.465-08:00BIRDS<br /><br />What bird was at the wedding of Sean Penn and Dr Quinn medicine woman? Penguin<br /><br />What bird's favourite song is Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash? Flamingo<br /><br />Which bird’s food looks like a hubcap? Magpie<br /><br />Which bird can’t decide on its own name? Albatross<br /><br />Which bird is a particularly handsome master of martial arts? Steven Seagull<br /><br />Which bird has seen you in the shower? Peking Duck<br /><br />Which bird has sex with marsupials? Jabiru<br /><br />Which bird’s favourite drug is ecstasy? Raven<br /><br />Which bird is wanted by the police? Robin<br /><br />Which bird flies around cliffs selling sexual favours? Whore-K<br /><br />Which bird is scared of selling sexual favours? Chicken Whore-K<br /><br />Which bird doesn’t know the lyrics? Humming Bird<br /><br />Which bird is watching you right now? Stork<br /><br />What kind of bird listens to reggae? A black bird<br /><br />Did you hear about the two small flightless birds getting drunk at the pub? They were having a quail of a time<br /><br />What bird sells shonky doors? Condor<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-3049800819846131467?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-81275031653290819002007-11-07T05:03:00.001-08:002007-11-07T05:05:04.786-08:00SAINTS<br /><br />What saint has a damaged wiener? Saint Benedict<br /><br />What saint has ants in his pants? Saint Antony<br /><br />What saint has a sister called Fran? Saint Francis<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-8127503165329081900?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-61377014516483103322007-11-07T05:02:00.000-08:002007-11-07T05:03:24.466-08:00MISCELLANEOUS<br /><br />What should you do when someone steals your gate? You shouldn’t take offence<br /><br />What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke. <br /><br />Did you hear about the Sydney cops going wild on the streets when their donut allowance was cut off? It was the No-Crulla riots. <br /><br />What nationality was the busy guy? Russian<br /><br />Why was the sand wet? Cos the sea weed<br /><br />How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer<br /><br />What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget? Very little<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-6137701451648310332?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-19221247845735466582007-11-07T04:45:00.001-08:002007-11-07T05:00:13.319-08:00CITIES IN AMERICA<br /><br />What city has the smallest drinks? Minnesota<br /><br />What city brings drugs between friends? Louisiana<br /><br />What state communicates via sms? Texas<br /><br />What city transports birds? Chicago<br /><br />Which city has the smallest fruit? Minneapolis<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-1922124784573546658?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-59486742863737259912007-11-07T04:45:00.000-08:002007-11-07T04:52:49.177-08:00FRUIT AND VEGETABLES<br /><br />What fruit is repeatedly out of money? Pawpaw<br /><br />Which fruit never wants to go to the pub? Banana<br /><br />What’s an under-ripe apple’s favourite music? Hardcore<br /><br />What’s a great fruit to visit in summer? The peach<br /><br />What does a captive animal wear to the beach? A zucchini<br /><br />What vegetable likes to have sex to drum n bass? Beetroot<br /><br />What fruit goes to wet t shirt contests? Watermelon<br /><br />What fruit has a sweet yarmulka? Honeydew<br /><br />Which apple has a disappointing child? Sundowner<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-5948674286373725991?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1514582369693191099.post-9390372965846979512007-11-07T04:36:00.000-08:002007-11-07T05:02:19.437-08:00ANIMALS<br /><br />What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud <br /><br />Why was the koala’s evidence thrown out of court? Because he didn’t bear witness<br /><br />What zoo only has a dog? A shit zoo<br /><br />What do you do when a bird shits on your car? Stop going out with her<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1514582369693191099-939037296584697951?l=homemadejokesrule.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Magic Thompsonnoreply@blogger.com0