PEOPLE’S NAMES
What guy has to deal with crap on a regular basis? Colin
What guy just took a pill? Ian
What guy is always rehearsing but never plays a show? Benjamin
Which guy’s butt is best for playing percussion? Thomas
Which guy always wants to do it on the first date? Randy
Which girl never wants to drink tea? Tina
What guy is a little crazy? Lupe
Which girl denies the existence of a muslim god? Alana
Which guy is always cleanly shaven? Shaun
Which guy never tries too hard to win? Gavin
What woman is made of metal? Nicole
What guy should you not eat old meat from? Graham
What guy really knows who he is? William
Which guy steals girls? Nicholas
What guy is constantly telling stories? Yahn
What guy is neither hot nor cold? Luke
What guy loves housework? Dustin
Which chick is really generous? Sharon
What chick won’t sell you a house? Lisa
What chick is good at keeping secrets? Chantel
What chick has to have a lie down when she’s pilling? Elaine
What girl lets you see into the toilet? Lucy
What guy is half a joke? Joe
What guy can’t find Lee? Wesley
What chick is owed money by Rennai? Naomi
What chick hangs out in caves? Crystal
What chick makes you choose between her and the night? Naomi
What guy wasn’t as into it as the others? Douglas
What guy got sore after a burglary? Robert
What girl emails you rude photos of herself? Tiffany
What girl has got a mouth full of a Rasta god? Georgia
What girl’s not worth much? Penny
What chick only believes in heaven? Noel
What chick only stands up straight? Noelene
What guy is a child of a prostitute’s customer? Johnson
What guy doesn’t sit? Stan
What chick blows you away? Wendy
What guy cuts himself shaving? Nick
What guy is covered in cigarette butts? Ashton
What girl only drinks pints? Abigail
Sunday, November 11, 2007
HOME MADE bird JOKES RULE
BIRDS
What bird was at the wedding of Sean Penn and Dr Quinn medicine woman? Penguin
What bird's favourite song is Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash? Flamingo
Which bird’s food looks like a hubcap? Magpie
Which bird can’t decide on its own name? Albatross
Which bird is a particularly handsome master of martial arts? Steven Seagull
Which bird has seen you in the shower? Peking Duck
Which bird has sex with marsupials? Jabiru
Which bird’s favourite drug is ecstasy? Raven
Which bird is wanted by the police? Robin
Which bird flies around cliffs selling sexual favours? Whore-K
Which bird is scared of selling sexual favours? Chicken Whore-K
Which bird doesn’t know the lyrics? Humming Bird
Which bird is watching you right now? Stork
What kind of bird listens to reggae? A black bird
Did you hear about the two small flightless birds getting drunk at the pub? They were having a quail of a time
What bird sells shonky doors? Condor
What bird was at the wedding of Sean Penn and Dr Quinn medicine woman? Penguin
What bird's favourite song is Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash? Flamingo
Which bird’s food looks like a hubcap? Magpie
Which bird can’t decide on its own name? Albatross
Which bird is a particularly handsome master of martial arts? Steven Seagull
Which bird has seen you in the shower? Peking Duck
Which bird has sex with marsupials? Jabiru
Which bird’s favourite drug is ecstasy? Raven
Which bird is wanted by the police? Robin
Which bird flies around cliffs selling sexual favours? Whore-K
Which bird is scared of selling sexual favours? Chicken Whore-K
Which bird doesn’t know the lyrics? Humming Bird
Which bird is watching you right now? Stork
What kind of bird listens to reggae? A black bird
Did you hear about the two small flightless birds getting drunk at the pub? They were having a quail of a time
What bird sells shonky doors? Condor
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
HOME MADE saint JOKES RULE
SAINTS
What saint has a damaged wiener? Saint Benedict
What saint has ants in his pants? Saint Antony
What saint has a sister called Fran? Saint Francis
What saint has a damaged wiener? Saint Benedict
What saint has ants in his pants? Saint Antony
What saint has a sister called Fran? Saint Francis
HOME MADE miscellaneous JOKES RULE
MISCELLANEOUS
What should you do when someone steals your gate? You shouldn’t take offence
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.
Did you hear about the Sydney cops going wild on the streets when their donut allowance was cut off? It was the No-Crulla riots.
What nationality was the busy guy? Russian
Why was the sand wet? Cos the sea weed
How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget? Very little
What should you do when someone steals your gate? You shouldn’t take offence
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.
Did you hear about the Sydney cops going wild on the streets when their donut allowance was cut off? It was the No-Crulla riots.
What nationality was the busy guy? Russian
Why was the sand wet? Cos the sea weed
How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget? Very little
HOME MADE american city JOKES RULE
CITIES IN AMERICA
What city has the smallest drinks? Minnesota
What city brings drugs between friends? Louisiana
What state communicates via sms? Texas
What city transports birds? Chicago
Which city has the smallest fruit? Minneapolis
What city has the smallest drinks? Minnesota
What city brings drugs between friends? Louisiana
What state communicates via sms? Texas
What city transports birds? Chicago
Which city has the smallest fruit? Minneapolis
HOME MADE fruit and vegetable JOKES RULE
FRUIT AND VEGETABLES
What fruit is repeatedly out of money? Pawpaw
Which fruit never wants to go to the pub? Banana
What’s an under-ripe apple’s favourite music? Hardcore
What’s a great fruit to visit in summer? The peach
What does a captive animal wear to the beach? A zucchini
What vegetable likes to have sex to drum n bass? Beetroot
What fruit goes to wet t shirt contests? Watermelon
What fruit has a sweet yarmulka? Honeydew
Which apple has a disappointing child? Sundowner
What fruit is repeatedly out of money? Pawpaw
Which fruit never wants to go to the pub? Banana
What’s an under-ripe apple’s favourite music? Hardcore
What’s a great fruit to visit in summer? The peach
What does a captive animal wear to the beach? A zucchini
What vegetable likes to have sex to drum n bass? Beetroot
What fruit goes to wet t shirt contests? Watermelon
What fruit has a sweet yarmulka? Honeydew
Which apple has a disappointing child? Sundowner
HOME MADE animal JOKES RULE
ANIMALS
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Why was the koala’s evidence thrown out of court? Because he didn’t bear witness
What zoo only has a dog? A shit zoo
What do you do when a bird shits on your car? Stop going out with her
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Why was the koala’s evidence thrown out of court? Because he didn’t bear witness
What zoo only has a dog? A shit zoo
What do you do when a bird shits on your car? Stop going out with her
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