Sunday, November 11, 2007



What guy has to deal with crap on a regular basis? Colin

What guy just took a pill? Ian

What guy is always rehearsing but never plays a show? Benjamin

Which guy’s butt is best for playing percussion? Thomas

Which guy always wants to do it on the first date? Randy

Which girl never wants to drink tea? Tina

What guy is a little crazy? Lupe

Which girl denies the existence of a muslim god? Alana

Which guy is always cleanly shaven? Shaun

Which guy never tries too hard to win? Gavin

What woman is made of metal? Nicole

What guy should you not eat old meat from? Graham

What guy really knows who he is? William

Which guy steals girls? Nicholas

What guy is constantly telling stories? Yahn

What guy is neither hot nor cold? Luke

What guy loves housework? Dustin

Which chick is really generous? Sharon

What chick won’t sell you a house? Lisa

What chick is good at keeping secrets? Chantel

What chick has to have a lie down when she’s pilling? Elaine

What girl lets you see into the toilet? Lucy

What guy is half a joke? Joe

What guy can’t find Lee? Wesley

What chick is owed money by Rennai? Naomi

What chick hangs out in caves? Crystal

What chick makes you choose between her and the night? Naomi

What guy wasn’t as into it as the others? Douglas

What guy got sore after a burglary? Robert

What girl emails you rude photos of herself? Tiffany

What girl has got a mouth full of a Rasta god? Georgia

What girl’s not worth much? Penny

What chick only believes in heaven? Noel

What chick only stands up straight? Noelene

What guy is a child of a prostitute’s customer? Johnson

What guy doesn’t sit? Stan

What chick blows you away? Wendy

What guy cuts himself shaving? Nick

What guy is covered in cigarette butts? Ashton

What girl only drinks pints? Abigail



What bird was at the wedding of Sean Penn and Dr Quinn medicine woman? Penguin

What bird's favourite song is Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash? Flamingo

Which bird’s food looks like a hubcap? Magpie

Which bird can’t decide on its own name? Albatross

Which bird is a particularly handsome master of martial arts? Steven Seagull

Which bird has seen you in the shower? Peking Duck

Which bird has sex with marsupials? Jabiru

Which bird’s favourite drug is ecstasy? Raven

Which bird is wanted by the police? Robin

Which bird flies around cliffs selling sexual favours? Whore-K

Which bird is scared of selling sexual favours? Chicken Whore-K

Which bird doesn’t know the lyrics? Humming Bird

Which bird is watching you right now? Stork

What kind of bird listens to reggae? A black bird

Did you hear about the two small flightless birds getting drunk at the pub? They were having a quail of a time

What bird sells shonky doors? Condor

Wednesday, November 7, 2007



What saint has a damaged wiener? Saint Benedict

What saint has ants in his pants? Saint Antony

What saint has a sister called Fran? Saint Francis

HOME MADE miscellaneous JOKES RULE


What should you do when someone steals your gate? You shouldn’t take offence

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.

Did you hear about the Sydney cops going wild on the streets when their donut allowance was cut off? It was the No-Crulla riots.

What nationality was the busy guy? Russian

Why was the sand wet? Cos the sea weed

How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget? Very little

HOME MADE american city JOKES RULE


What city has the smallest drinks? Minnesota

What city brings drugs between friends? Louisiana

What state communicates via sms? Texas

What city transports birds? Chicago

Which city has the smallest fruit? Minneapolis

HOME MADE fruit and vegetable JOKES RULE


What fruit is repeatedly out of money? Pawpaw

Which fruit never wants to go to the pub? Banana

What’s an under-ripe apple’s favourite music? Hardcore

What’s a great fruit to visit in summer? The peach

What does a captive animal wear to the beach? A zucchini

What vegetable likes to have sex to drum n bass? Beetroot

What fruit goes to wet t shirt contests? Watermelon

What fruit has a sweet yarmulka? Honeydew

Which apple has a disappointing child? Sundowner



What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

Why was the koala’s evidence thrown out of court? Because he didn’t bear witness

What zoo only has a dog? A shit zoo

What do you do when a bird shits on your car? Stop going out with her